Speedbumps

Speedbumps are annoying... I hate driving down through a parking lot or down an alley way and all the sudden, for no reason, there is a bump that wants me to basically stop my forward progress...

I had a GREAT last 3 days or so. It seemed as if my body finally adjusted to my Rituxan and was getting energy back. I was finally able to run errands on Saturday morning and THEN come home and actually clean the house. Do you know how long it has been since I had enough energy to do that??? I also made a roast in the crock pot and john built a fire. We had some friends over and it was just...ahhhhh... nice. I could literally just sit by the fire, laughing with our friends and listening to Mason jump on the neighbors trampoline all night. It was soothing... almost meditative.

Then the speedbump jumped up right in front of me. Around 11pm my left wrist started aching, my fingers swelled to resemble John's favorite Italian sausage and all of the sudden, EXTREME PAIN. To the point of tears. It was so sudden. I tried ice, I took my night time meds and an aleve. No relief. I became concerned bc my left arm is the one with the blood clot from the last Rituxan infusion. So, at 1am, I had john's friend Brian take me to the hospital (Mason was sleeping and we didn't want to leave him or wake him). He dropped me off and I went in. I was there for 3 hours. When the ER dr came in, he saw that I had RA, barely looked at my wrist (which was twice the size of normal by now) and said "it's a flare". I told him about my clot and he was not concerned- or atleast didn't seem to be. He gave me a prescription for percocet, a brace and sent me home. I seriously hate telling dr's that I even have RA... its the easiest condition to blame EVERYTHING on. UGHHHHH...

Today, the speedbump was still there. I wore the brace for most of the day. I was/am such an emotional mess today. I've been angry, sad, irritated and unfortunately I've put some of it on John. It's not his fault that I hit a speed bump today... It's not anyone's fault. This is EXACTLY why i'm afraid of getting too excited/happy about any medicine or good reactions that I do have. It's like I get to a certain place (MPH) and then all the sudden, I have to stop on a dime for a speedbump. I'm really hoping this is "just" a speedbump and not continuing on the "pot hole road".

wow,, didn't think i had that much to say... guess i was wrong.

good night.
 t